Archive for September 2015


The rule is really simple actually: if you have a problem, just find some solutions, and execute.

You may not know whether you can deal with it or not, but at least you learn something. So that you can figure a better solution in the future and finally solve the matter. 

It's your right to complain. However, complaining will never be an answer. It's just a kind of temporary release.

If you open your eyes and see the world, you will realize that you are not alone. Everyone has their own problems. What makes it different is their response: some people fight, some people grumble, and some people just run away.

No matter how hard it is, please don't give up, just fight. It's for you, your family, your friends, your country, your faith, or everything you love or all of things that love you back.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015 by Muhammad Haekal
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The Heart of Life

The rumor was spreading one or two months ago and the exact truth just came yesterday. It was a happy moment, right? It’s one of the greatest, wasn’t it?

You’ve made it. From deep inside my heart, I’m saying congratulations. It’s not easy to start a new phase, particularly on heart matters. For most of people it’s even like reading Sophie’s World: they need to spend more time to understand before turning to the new chapters.

Sometimes I think, or let say it’s a kind of interviewing the fate to get an explanation. The questions would be like: What is love actually? Why did we meet lots of people but only fell in love to one of them? What is broken heart? Why do two in-love people separate? What is the real love? What is the fake one? What is the reason behind marrying someone? And what is the reason behind letting someone go?

I haven’t really understood at first. But when I’m dragging myself into my own silence space, I think I get something. By what we’ve done in the past, we are learning. We became both teacher and student to ourselves. We learnt how to understand feeling, how to set vision in life, and even how to define ourselves. We strove to figure out the most suitable time to fix, to adapt, and—the last one—to stop our relationship when we’re reaching our dead-end. We’ve also discovered that the best step to start a new life is by forgiving. That being a friend is much more precious than being an enemy. Those are some reasons why we meet in this world, says my shallow intelligence.

Don’t worry. It’s not a long reading, but when I’m typing it, my mind is playing John Mayer, the Heart of Life. It says in this world, we will face bad news and pain. That sometimes things don’t go as the way it should or the way people expected. But people have to know that the life has a good heart. It will lead them to things they need—and sometimes it’s not the things they want.

Well, good luck. I always pray for you.

Sunday, September 20, 2015 by Muhammad Haekal
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I will be twenty-five on December and I little bit worried about myself.

I don’t know whether it’s normal, but I’m still on my way of finding myself. If you are my close friends, you know that I have changed my job a lot: a teacher, an editor (and journalist), a public relations officer, or –maybe the quite loud one—an aspiring writer, and for the time being, a lecturer. Without exact life goals, I feel like being Jack Sparrow without compass: kind of lost. And mentioning that I’m still talking about “finding myself” again and again, makes me—or even people near me—sick.

Last week, I just came back from Yogyakarta. It was a scholarship pre-departure program hosted by LPDP. I want to tell you that I miss them a lot: the people, the moments, everything. It was a super fantastic event. I will share about it later. What I want to say here is that I envied other awardees because inside my eyes, they knew precisely what they’re going to do and what they were living for. Those people are superb, while in other side I’m just a kind of adverb.

However, the burden of being a Jackie Chan on Who Am I doesn’t trigger the bullet of negativity inside me. Or let say sometimes it does, but fortunately it can’t lead my entire body and mind. For the time being, I treat life as the pilgrimage of finding meaning of my own existence. I may be far from the finish line but as long as I keep walking, I think it is fine. 

2016 is near. I am going to continue my education on that year insya Allah, but please don’t ask me where (I’m still working on getting Letter of Acceptance). Talking about study, I remember the first lecture I gave to matriculation students: did you know why you were here? Right know I’m asking the same question to myself. And the fact that I’m awardees of a scholarship program and being prepared to be a future leader or a kind of life-changing monk within my community, ignites tsunami inside my brain: can I do that? The reality that I still work on defining myself makes me little worried, while in other hand the actuality that I’m not idle also create a good wave of positivity.

Sometimes I’m standing against my favorite quote “just do it” and deciding to be an agent of “just think it”. Or maybe I over-ruminate all of this and I’m unconsciously filming (and also playing) a stupid television drama.  Well I’m still confused, but at least I’m moving. I’m doing something. With that said, the next five years will be a very vital journey of my life. And I won’t give up of discovering my meaning.

P.S: I write in English because I am going to have IELTS test on October. This is a kind of practice and adaptation. Pray for me yeah :D

Friday, September 18, 2015 by Muhammad Haekal
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